HOW I WORK

Your Problem: You’re stuck.

  • “My B-readers say they’re not connecting to my characters, but I’m not sure how to fix that.”

  • “I’ve done 5 revisions and all I do is keep adding words and I don’t know what to do.”

  • “I’ve taken it as far as I can. I think it’s good, but I just need fresh eyes on it.”

  • “I don’t need an editor yet, just someone to tell me if it works or not.”

  • “I’ve gotten contest feedback, but the point systems are useless and vague comments don’t help at all.”

How I help you get un-stuck:

Between our two video calls, my Critique Report and your marked-up script / manuscript, you’ll learn:

  • what I like and what’s working

  • what bumped me out of the story and what’s not working AND why

  • what’s it’s supposed to look like AND

  • suggestions on how to fix the weak parts.

I do a deep dive (where applicable) into:

  • Genre conventions

  • Structure, tension, pacing

  • Character-building, set-ups, arc and transformation

  • Character relationships

  • Story logic / continuity

  • Levels of conflict

  • Metaphors, symbols and motifs

  • Theme

  • Secondary characters

  • Subplots

You end up with actionable suggestions for your next revision, plus elevated writing skills.

My goal:

  • to get you past your stuck place

  • to give you clear and actionable revision ideas

  • to motivate you to dig deeper into the heart and soul of your story

  • to elevate your writing skills, in the context of your own writing project

My ideal critique client:

  • At least your THIRD screenplay / novel. I do not critique first and second screenplays / novels, as they are for learning the writing basics.

  • You send me the best (at least 4th) draft of this WIP, as complete and polished as you can manage.

  • Completed screenplays / manuscripts only.

My critique report notes are:

  • Honest

  • Direct - no coddling

  • No tears

  • Objective and professional

  • I’m all about clarity and getting your story out of your head and onto the page

My in-line notes may highlight:

  • screenwriting formatting issues (tho I will usually generalize these in the report)

  • character action inconsistencies (blocking) and chronology)

  • story logic and plot holes

  • plausibility of events: character motivation, actions, dialogue

  • dialogue issues - suggested changes

  • subtext - presence or absence (for prose, inner emotional and logic thoughts)

  • set-ups and pay offs, or the lack thereof

  • extraneous action/dialogue that can be cut

  • scene construction

  • opening hook and closing image

  • story ending

  • secondary characters and subplots

  • new ideas for metaphors, symbols and motifs

I won’t be commenting on:

  • The marketability of your WIP

  • Current genre trends in your industry

  • Your writing career prospects, pitching, querying and marketing of your WIP

  • While I may briefly comment on the shoot-ability of your script, I primarily concentrate on improving your story’s integrity and your storytelling abilities.

  • Critiques are subjective. You won't get the same critique from one person to the next.

  • You may not agree with all of my comments or suggestions. It is totally up to you whether to use them or not.

  • Even though my fix-it suggestions reflect my own writing style and approach to story, I’m hoping that they ring true to you, or at least inspire your own new ideas.

  • You are absolutely free to use any dialogue, description, or story ideas that I suggest in my report and notes, without giving me writing credit.

  • Your success in getting this WIP published or produced is not guaranteed by following all my suggestions, as it is up to you, the writer, to revise and incorporate my suggestions into your story, and I have no control over the quality of your writing.